A lot of questions...
Regarding ftp. Usually people use the ftp server included in webMAN-MOD but you are not using Cobra so I assume you are not using webMAN-MOD either.
Never mind there is a ftp server in Irisman. Look at the tools when you press the Start button.
Once the ftp server is started, just use your pc, smartphone whatever device on your lan, then open ftp://ps3-ip-address/ in a ftp client. On Windows, the Explorer would do just fine, no need to install a ftp client.
Copy the xml file you need then post it here. I don't want access to your Pc & you should never offer access to your pc or your ps3 to people you do not know anyway!! Unless you are looking for problems....
When you will get the edited version of the xml, you will need to replace it on the PS3 & to write to /dev_flash which is read only, you must enable /dev_blind which is basically another name for writable /dev_flash. You can enable /dev_blind with Irisman as well.
In 4.xx, you should never use a 999 spoofer to connect to PSN. Best way to get banned + it will mess with other things.
That's the reason why you can't downgrade anymore except with special downgraders for instance.
Remove this spoofer at once! You should have removed it before updating CFW anyway.
You broke the clip on the PS3 motherboard, is it completely off?
Can you still plug the ribbon in it & maybe use tape or whatever to hold it in place?
What console model is it? CECHxxxx?
Yes you can bypass the BD if you are on CFW. All you need to do is use MFWBuilder to patch any CFW to noBD. The resulting pup will install.
But if you don't have a logic board (BD Controller card) attached, you would need to use BDEMU as well.
It depends on your console model, if there is a card under the BD drive & you can't connect the ribbon, you probably need BDEMU. Something like this Rebug 4.80.1 BDEMU.
https://mega.nz/#!KFoR1QjS!abNThzVuj3XNfj_FSzaaWxpFpR6v6Cyq-vm5B86WA4Q
(you must remove the 999 spoofer to install this directly or downgrade using a downgrader then upgrade again...)